Doshin the Giant

It wasn't every day that one gets to interview a literal god.

Waluigi stepped outside the house and looked up to the sky. He could barely make out Doshin's face. The giant waved at him, causing a strong gust of wind to blow in his direction.

"Yes, yes! Hello!" Waluigi shouted, as he struggled to maintain his balance. "I'm pleased that you took time out of your busy schedule to... entertain the notion of joining my enterprise."

He wasn't sure the deity could hear him, but he thought he saw Doshin nod. He pulled out a notepad and a pen. It was going to be challenging to literally fit someone like Doshin into the game... But challenges were meant to be overcome. You didn't see Nintendo making giants playable characters.

"Bro!" Waluigi's body immediately tensed up. Ah, great.

Wario began prancing around, acting like he was some kind of hip-hop dancer or something. He also flung his hands about, pretending to "walk the dog" or go "round the world." What a weirdo. He showed off five tricks.

"What's this giant foot doing in our backyard, bro?" Wario was, of course, referring to the lowermost part of Doshin's body. He began drumming on the foot, as if that were the natural course of action. "Check it out, bro, I'm jammin' to some beats! Waaa!"

"Brother, cease this tomfoolery! You're playing with forces beyond your control!"

Wario pretended not to hear him and continued hammering away on the giant's foot. "Bro. Bro-bro-bro. Bro bro..."

"Is he seriously saying that word as he's drumming?" Waluigi shook his head. "I can't believe I associate with this simpleton..."

Doshin, being the docile creature he was, didn't shake Wario off or blast him with a thunderbolt. Instead, he materialized a tree out of thin air and placed it beside the yellow-garbed imp.

"Bro, look! He got me a tree!"

Doshin smiled.

Waluigi began mumbling to himself. At times like these, he found it soothing to think about music that relaxed him, especially good ol' country-inspired rock. I die each time I hear this sound... Here he comes... It's truly so sad to watch good love go bad. Anyway, enough of that. He directed his attention back towards his guest.

"Listen, Doshin." The giant leaned in closer. "I wanted to tell you that I'm very interested in recruiting you for my project. It'd be something totally new. You don't see many games out there where one of the playable characters is, like, a hundred feet taller than the rest of the roster." Waluigi rubbed his chin. "In fact, some might say that having you in my game is an awful idea. And that I'm crazy for thinking that this could possibly work."

The giant's sunny disposition began to fade.

Waluigi began biting his lip. "Yeah, this is nuts, isn't it? He just wouldn't fit in with the cast I had in mind..."

"Bro, why are you putting my man down like that?" Wario interrupted. "This guy's the best! He gave me something I never realized I'd always wanted. A tree. Which I've named Wallow the Willow." It was a palm tree. "Waaaa!"

Waluigi snorted. "Well, if you'd let me finish my point..." He began to feel something tremble beneath his feet. "W-what the?" Before he knew it, he was wobbling uncontrollably and fell to the ground. "Ouch!"

The earth beneath Waluigi began rising. A small pedestal of rock began protruding from underneath him.

"Uh, Doshin? Can we talk, buddy?"

What was once a patch of ground was transforming into a growing pillar of earth. The speed at which the pillar grew seemed to increase with each second. Before long, it rivaled even the Tower of Babel in height.

The giant took a resounding step forward. Wario recoiled backwards and fell on his rear. The pillar of earth was now at eye level with Doshin.

"Right. So let's talk contracts."

The giant smiled.