Big Bash Siblings was founded on a relatively small number of core tenets. One of those tenets was no Fire Emblem characters. Everyone knew that out of all the Nintendo franchises, Fire Emblem was the most grossly overrepresented in the Smash roster.

Yet here he was, face to face with a certain bratty noble from Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Hilda Goneril, loyal retainer for the Golden Deer, was twirling around one of her bright pink ponytails.

"So," Waluigi began. "I thought I made this clear in the application form, but in case I didn't... We're not looking to recruit any Fire Emblem characters."

Hilda rotated her hand around to check her nails before deigning to respond. "Oh yeah, no. I got your message."

Waluigi clasped his hands together. "Splendid! Well in that case, I don't see any further need to-"

Hilda yawned. Loudly.

Waluigi cleared his throat. "Okay. So... Can you explain to me what we're doing here, exactly?"

"Yeah, I saw some ads for your little project. Looks interesting. Count me in."

"Look," Waluigi said. "I don't know how things work where you're from, but you can't just expect everyone to bend to your will here."

Hilda was staring off to the side, seemingly not paying attention. Such a vexing girl.

His mind drifted off towards those old kung-fu movies he used to watch. He would fantasize about being one of those dazzling fighters. All these movies about... some number of elements and ninjas, some number of chambers of Shaolin, or some number of diagrammed pole fighters. Or something like that. These movies often had confusing titles.

As luck would have it, a second vexing presence joined the fray. Wario entered through the door and puffed up his chest, as if to simulate that he was larger than normal. He then pretended to lug around a heavy weapon and began swinging it down with great force eight times.

Wario had just returned from one of his motorcycle rides. He was covered in oil and reeked. "Bro, I just had the nastiest drive." This was what he said every time he rode his motorcycle. Each time, he failed to make it sound like an actual positive experience. "I almost ran over some Goombas, bro. It was wild!"

"I'm not so sure that's something to brag about," Waluigi responded.

Wario lifted a leg and retorted with a hefty amount of flatulence. "Ahhhh... True that, bro."

Waluigi turned away, disgusted.

"What's the matter, bro?" Wario asked with a mischievous chuckle. "Welcome to the Wario Zone."

"What in Fodlan is this vile creature?" Hilda asked indignantly. "Get this thing out of my sight this instance!"

"Who's this bougie dame, bro?" Wario tried wiping some grease off his jacket, which only spread it around even more. "Bro, don't they teach you people manners in, like, bougie school? Nyuk nyuk nyuk."

Waluigi cracked a smile. Hilda's disdain for Wario was... surprisingly amusing. Refreshing, almost. "I agree that this eyesore should leave us be. I'm in the middle of an interview."

"My bad, bro." Wario took off one of his musty gloves and walked over to Hilda. He offered his oily hand. "Name's Wario..." Wario seemed to briefly consider whether he should refer to Hilda by a traditionally masculine form of address. "...Bro." And eventually seemed to settle on it.

Hilda leapt out of her chair. "Don't touch me, foul beast!" She pulled some mace out of her bag and sprayed Wario directly in the eyes.

"AHHHHHH! BRO, BRO, BRO!" Wario tumbled over and started rolling on the floor, spreading the grease all over the carpet. "HEEELP, BRO!"

Waluigi erupted in laughter. It took all of his energy not to just keel over in his chair. "WAAA HA HA! Sorry, brother, I can't... I can't hear you!"

Wario involuntarily started rolling towards Hilda's direction, who began spraying him even more.

"BRO, STOP IT!" Another spray. "AHHHH! MY EYES!"

"Begone, you fiend!" Hilda began stomping on Wario's feeble, circular body. "Die! Die!"

Waluigi was still guffawing. Maybe these Fire Emblem characters weren't so bad after all.